Here is the cover of
the book "Life Lessons from Elvis: If Sequin
Jumpsuits Are Wrong Then I Don't Want To Be
Right" by Anthony Rubino's. This will be a 160
pages "humor" book was released as a hardback by
Routledge Hill Press in mid June 2006. (ISBN:
1401602487).
Synopsis from The Herald Tribune:
Life lessons sometimes come from unlikely
sources. Take Michael Jackson, for example. If
ever there were a reason to avoid plastic
surgery, one need look no further. Or Paris
Hilton, Tommy Lee and Scott Stapp, who reminded
us that making a video of yourself having sex is
a bad, bad, bad idea.
Of course, the ultimate pop-culture icon is the
King himself, Elvis Presley. If you've ever
wanted to live your life by Elvis' rules -- or
if you already do and need a refresher course --
a new book may help.
Just in time for the 19th anniversary of
Presley's death on Aug. 16 (the 20th anniversary
would have been more appropriate, but oh, well)
comes "Life Lessons From Elvis: If Sequined
Jumpsuits Are Wrong, Then I Don't Want to Be
Right" (Rutledge Hill Press, $14.99). The pocket
book with the overly long title is by Anthony
Rubino Jr., author of previous "life lessons"
books based on "Melrose Place" and "The Brady
Bunch" (as well as "1,001 Ways to
Procrastinate").
The quotes aren't real, but what did you expect
with such a title? Here are some samples:
"Ya gotta count yer blessings. For example, I'm
thankful people call me 'Elvis the Pelvis.' My
name could been Rick, man."
"In a pinch, a 22-caliber pistol makes an
excellent TV remote control. But you can only
use it once."
"Teach your daughters to stay away from weirdo,
man-child, plastic-surgery-happy freaks." (See?
Even Elvis agrees with me!)
"If you're itchin' like a man on a fuzzy tree,
and your friends say you're acting' wild as a
bug, you might very well be in love. Either
that, or you took one too many of those green
pills."
"If your wife wakes you up before you've gotten
your fifteen hours of sleep, shoves a pen in
your hand, and tells you you're signing' a
contract for a movie called 'Divorce
Settlement,' do not believe her.
"Just cuz you're wearing' a cape doesn't mean
you can fly. Man, I learned that the hard way."
Overall, a pretty amusing book. But none of the
passages top this classic Elvis joke, as told by
Willie Nelson on Don Imus' radio show:
Nelson: "What were Elvis' last words?"
Imus: "What?"
Nelson: "Corn?"
Source: Various /
Updated: Jul 30, 2006
